Inescapable Past
by tidlenee
Summary: Angel gets reminder after reminder of one of the cruelest things he did as Angelus. This story will be about 11 Chapters long. Reviews Welcome. NOTE: THE TIMING OF THE STORY IS BEFORE GROO'S RETURN, BEFORE DEMON-CORDY, WITH SOME F/G.


Disclaimer:  Neither I, nor does anyone I know, own or have owned any characters in Angel (the television show), or anything related to Angel in any way.

centerbInescapable Past/b/center

centerBy:  Courtney Thompson/center 

centerChapter 1:  Beginnings/center 

ddAngel woke with a start.  Laying in his bed and breathing heavily, staring at the hotel room he was in, he carefully wiped the cold sweat which dripped from his cold forehead.  He sat there, frozen, trying to take in what had just happened.  He had had a dream.  This was nothing new, he, as most things that slept did, often dream.  His dream, however, was different.  A few weeks ago was when it had started.  He had had the first dream of this kind.  Every day since then he had the same dream, except it was expanded upon.  Night after night, the dream either got longer, or the faces got clearer, or the emotions he felt in the dream got more vivid.

ddThe raw emotions he felt when he was living in his dream was the problem.  As he pondered this, he rose from his bed, tossing the blood red sheets aside, and paced.  The dream was real.  Not real as in the sense that it was happening at the time he was dreaming it, but everything he dreamt had happened.  He knew this because the dream was something that had happened to him in the past.  Or, more accurately, his dream was something that he had done in the past.  Something he had done to someone in the past.  Something horrible that he had done to someone innocent and undeserving in the past.  That was how he saw it, anyway.  That was how he had seen it ever since that fateful day when he had been cursed by gypsies oh-so many years ago.  Unless he knew otherwise, to him, all his victims were innocent people to whom he had done many a horrible thing.  Those thoughts just made the pain he felt worse, and that was just fine by him, because if he didn't feel the pain, he might let himself be caught up in a moment of true happiness, and if that happened, all hell could break out.  Literally.  i_If it wasn't for Buffy../i._  he thought, getting caught up in the moment.

ddJust then, Cordelia burst into his room.  "Oh good!  You're up.  We were getting a bit worried, you're usually up by dusk, so we thought..." she stopped in mid sentence having just noticed the state Angel was in.  She immediately lost track of what she was saying, and walked slowly to him until she could touch him, her face sporting wrinkles on her forehead showing her concern, and asked, "Hey, what's wrong?  Ya don't look, well, happy."  
            dd Angel acknowledged Cordelia, for the first time since her entrance, jerking his head up at her comment, and his brown, tortured eyes making eye contact with her warm and worried toffee coloured eyes.  "What?", was his only comment.

dd"Well, you certainly know how to make a girl feel wanted.  Especially when that girl bears the visions that keep you busy."  Cordelia was trying to lighten up the dark atmosphere that often appeared over anyone who hung around Angel.

ddThis typical Cordelia comment made Angel realize what was happening around him.  He immediately felt sorry and apologized, trying to avoid her gaze as he did.  "Look, I'm sorry, I just-"   
            dd"-didn't sleep well?", Cordelia coyly cut in before Angel could finish.

ddAngel could not mask his surprise at her knowledge.  Noticing his expression, Cordelia commented, "Hey I'm vision girl, remember?  I know these things.  Plus, the worried-and-tired look on your face was more than enough for anybody to decode.  So now that we have that over with, why don't you tell me what's up?"

ddAngel hesitated.  He hated to tell his friends, or anyone, about his escapades as Angelus.  Although they all pretended to be cool with it, he knew that they were wary about his alter ego that used to be the scourge of Europe.  Even when he toned down his brutal murders and only mentioned the bare facts, it still made them uncomfortable, which is why he hadn't told any of them about his dreams so far.  Because he had actually done the things that he did in his dreams.  Before Cordelia could press any further, Angel decided to just avoid the whole subject of the dreams, and told her, "It's nothing, don't worry, I just didn't sleep that good."

dd"Had a daymare, huh?", was her witty response.

ddHe couldn't help but smile.  His nocturnal nature was a thorn in his side, especially when he had a demon to catch in the daytime, but whenever a crack was made, he was the first to react, either with a smile, a groan, or, if in an extremely bad mood, or if the joke was of an extremely bad taste, with an insult.

ddCordelia, seeing she had cheered up her boss, immediately hurried on, "Well, now that you're smiling, you can get up and get ready to kill things!"

dd"Anything special?", he questioned her, his business side taking over.

dd"Nope, just ordinary, boring vampires."

dd"Thanks."

dd"No problem.  Anyways, I'll let you get dressed, and, well, you could probably use a shower too.  But hurry up, I'm getting bored with no clients, so I want to DO something, before I go insane."  And on that note, she gracefully walked out of his bedroom.

ddAs Angel watched her leave he still felt a warm glow that she gave him, by just being the person she was.  She had made him feel so good that he had almost forgotten the horrid dream that was only too real.  Almost.  Nothing could remove the thought of that dream from him.  i_Unless of course, some spell could change the past, and prevent me from doing what I did.../i_  But he knew that even if that was possible, that he would not do it.  If he somehow could change history to make it so he would never have become the murderous beast he once was, he would not, could not do it.  This was not always his view on the subject.  In fact it was for the longest time after he was cursed.  It was after he had met and fought so much evil alongside of Buffy that he realized just how much he wanted to fight evil.  He wanted redemption too, of course, but even if he had nothing to redeem himself for, just knowing there was so much evil in the world, made him want to, made him feel he had to, do something, anything to help.  So, he tried his best to mask his pain the dream had caused, changed his clothes, and prepared himself for another night of fighting evil.

center"~*~*~/center

ddLater on, that same night, on a dimly lit road, one could witness five figures strolling down the street, looking confident in spite of their eerie surroundings.  The five figures were known as Angel, Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn, and Fred.  It had been a fairly slow night for them, with one or two vampires putting in an appearance, but nothing really interesting had happened.  Just as Angel was about to suggest turning in, as the dreams were making him quite weary, he spotted two vampires in the distance, headed for their direction.  He notified everyone of their existence.

ddGunn was the one who thought practically. "Okay, two of them.  Five of us.  I say that anyone who wants to, can just kick back," he said, pointing his remark almost exclusively to Fred.

ddFred grinned at him; she loved hearing his voice, and she loved knowing that he cared about her, that he was trying to protect her from even the slightest scratch.  "I think I'll sit this one out, and just watch the action from here."

ddWith that, Gunn let out an inner sigh of relief.  He didn't want Fred to get involved.  Even though they seemed like ordinary vamps, he knew from past experience, that they could indeed be something different.  The last thing in the world he wanted was for Fred to get hurt, especially if he could have prevented it.

dd"Hello, vamps?" cut in an impatient voice.  "Not exactly the time for this.  You can continue when we're back, and you're alone."  Cordelia was always the tactful one.

ddIt was automatically assumed that Angel, Gunn, and Wesley would be fighting, since Fred had declined, they still had to hear from Cordelia, before they commenced their next battle with the vamps that were still a good distance away from them.

ddCordelia knew that they were waiting for her.  It didn't really matter to her whether she fought this one or not, since there would be others.  But she knew her friends, and knew Fred.  She knew that Fred would not want to be left alone.  "Count me out too, I've had enough action for tonight."

dd"Alright then, I'd suggest we start fighting before they catch us unguarded", Wesley said.

ddThe three men ran off to the two lone figures now only slightly in the distance. The vamp on the left looked like he could have been a football player in his life.  He was big, but most of it appeared to be bulk, rather than beef.  He had a round face, which was smoothed over, showing no signs of his true nature.  He had short brown hair that had obviously not been showered for a long time.  The right vampire was the exact opposite of his companion, at least in looks.  He was shorter than an average male his age.  But he wasn't tiny.  He had muscles, which were conveniently concealed under his outfit.  He had long blonde hair cascading down from his shoulder.  If he had a thinner physique, and a higher voice, he would have been able to fool anyone he met into thinking he was a woman. The two look startled as they realized that the men had stakes in their hands, and were ready to use them.  Then the demons regained their confidence, somehow convincing themselves that they could handle the three that were threatening them.  How wrong they were.

ddCordelia and Fred just stood there, watching them fight.  Just watching.  Both of them watching a particular person fight, looking almost mesmerized as each young woman focused on him.

ddThe men were oblivious to their female coworkers almost immediately after they began running to the vamps.  Angel reached his destination first.  With a great strength that had been bestowed upon him when he became undead, he gave the vampire on the left a strong uppercut.  He continued to focus on the left one, who was now on the ground, moaning in pain.  "I hate it when they whine", commented Angel, before picking up his attacker and bashing him on the head with his head.  This was enough for his attacker, who was already in a great amount of pain.  Angel decided to end it right there and used the stake that had been in his left hand.  He drew back the stake, and drove it into his opponent's heart. Within moments the vamp that had been crying was no more than a scattered pile of dust.  Angel looked over to the vampire to his right.

ddThis vampire had been quicker.  He had seen his two attackers approaching.  When Gunn arrived he tried to punch him, but the vampire caught his hand, and trapping him, kneed him in the stomach.  Gunn fell to the ground instinctively.  Just before the vamp could get another blow in, Wesley arrived and thrust a punch to the vamps side.  Although his attack hit his target, it didn't cause him enough pain to collapse, as Gunn had, he only stumbled a little to the side.  Due to the pain, the vampire let out a deep, angry growl and hit a massive blow to Wesley's head.  Wesley immediately fell down beside Gunn.  At that moment, Angel had just dusted the other vamp and seen the action that was happening, when he heard a familiar voice calling, "Angel!".  Angel turned at Fred's voice and saw, a little distance away, Fred holding Cordelia in her hands.

ddFred was doing her best to keep Cordelia from hitting the sidewalk, but Cordelia seemed to be getting heavier by the minute.  Her whole body was shaking.  Only a moment before, Cordelia had felt the familiar pain of an upcoming vision.  She had just enough time to let Fred know this before the Powers That Be intruded into her mind.  Fred had reacted in time, catching her immediately, but her strength was fading fast, so not knowing what to do, she called for Angel, but she dared not look away from Cordelia for a moment to see if he was coming.

ddAngel was torn, leaving his friends lying on the ground with a vampire looming above them, but he knew that they could defend themselves.  Cordelia, in a state that the visions created, could not.  He ran as fast as he could over to Fred, gently took Cordelia from her, and breathlessly told her, "Go.  Use your crossbow.  Now!", as Cordelia began to moan from the pain.

ddFred looked over to the place where the vampires were and saw Gunn and Wesley on the ground, with a vampire looking as though he couldn't decide which one to try first.  "Charles", Fred whispered very emotionally, as he ran as fast as her legs would take her to where her boyfriend lay.

ddThe vampire had heard her approach, and upon seeing her, suddenly decided on who to taste first.  Her.  He got a hungry look upon his face, that Gunn could often see on Fred's face in the morning before she got her breakfast.  Fred was not afraid of him.  Her thoughts were all on the curled up body that lay before her.  She suddenly stopped.  The vamp looked puzzled at first.  Then she rose the crossbow that miraculously she had managed to hold onto without piercing Cordelia.  The vampire froze, knowing what was to come.  Fred fired, and made her mark, as the vampire dusted, she was already in motion, helping Gunn to his feet, slowly but surely.

dd"Damn!  That hurt!  And the guy was so little...", Gunn spoke as soon as he upright.

ddUpon hearing this, Fred breathed a sigh, knowing he would be okay.

ddGunn looked at her, saw the terrified expression that her face still bore, and soothed her fears.  "Hey, don't worry.  I'm fine, just didn't expect something so small to have too much punch.  See look?  Fine.  Just winded.  Go help Wes."

ddFred reluctantly pulled away from Gunn, who was now able to stay upright on his own, and turned towards Wesley.  Wesley was unconscious, but she managed to gently rouse him, and help him up also.

dd"Is it tea time, mother?", was the dazed response from their friend.

ddFred and Gunn shared a smile at Wesley's more British side came through.  After seeing his whereabouts, things rushed back to him, and he knew where he was.  "Oh..."  The three made it slowly to where Angel was, still holding Cordelia.

ddCordelia kept on shaking for a few minutes after Angel had taken over for Fred.  When the other three joined him, her vision had ended, and she let Angel gently bring her up to a standing position.  Angel concerned for her, questioned, "Are you alright?".

dd"Yeah, fine, if that's what you can call it.  Just the usual blinding headache and other pains that these damn visions bring."  She brought her hand to her forehead, and slowly rubbed it.

dd"What did you see?", continued Angel, after knowing that she was all right, his next priority was helping whoever the vision said was in trouble.

dd"Ugh...", she moaned in pain as a reply.  She did not want to remember the vision that brought on the pain she was currently in, but she did because she had to.  She ran the pictures that she had seen back through her mind.  "A girl...  she...  she's in an alley...  vampires...  three of them...  they're beside someplace loud...  there's fear...  the woman is surrounded by the vamps...  there's laughing.  Sorry guys, that's it."

ddGunn was absolutely befuddled.  "Someplace loud?  We're supposed to help a girl who could, for all we know, be about to be getting her blood sucked, and all we've got to go on is that they are beside a loud place?"

ddAngel glared at him, protective of Cordelia.  But that was unnecessary, since she could take care of herself.  "Hey", she spoke defiantly, "don't shoot the messenger.  Besides it's not happening tonight."

ddWesley grew intrigued at her knowledge, and inquired, "How do you know that?"

dd"Because it's not raining."  Seeing their puzzled answers at the simplicity of her response, she continued.  "It's a clear night.  In the vision it was raining."  At this, the expressions on Angel's, Wesley's, and Gunn's face removed, and were all replaced with still-concerned expressions for Cordelia's health.

ddFred, however, still looked confused.  She spoke what was on her mind; "I don't get it, why would the Powers That Be give you a vision now, if the thing's not going to happen tonight?"

ddCordelia did not feel as concerned about the topic as Fred did.  "Who knows?  Maybe they finally realized that sending the visions at the last possible second is not a good idea."  Angel and Gunn seemed to agree with her, although Fred still had her doubts, and after having raised the issue, Wesley now did also.  Nobody else said anything on the walk home.  Everyone was in too much pain; Cordelia, Gunn, and Wesley both feeling it physically, while Angel and Fred felt it emotionally, seeing their friends hurt.  They also hurt emotionally because people they cared about as more than friends were hurting.  And sometimes, that can be worse than being hurt physically.

center~*~*~/center

            ddAngel grew more tired with each step that he took.  It wasn't bad enough that he had to be awake every night, fighting and killing, but most days he was up too, on a case, not able to sleep, or just talking with his friends.  This, added onto his stressful dreams led him to be exhausted, growing more so every night as his dreams kept on getting worse.  Every night, he went to bed, hoping to just be able to rest, for one night.  Every night his luck proved to be out, as he was, once again, reminded of one of his many horrible deeds.  But he could not deny his need for sleep, so he kept on sleeping.  He kept on dreaming.  Angel opened the creaky door that led to his bedroom.  Upon entering the room, he immediately walked over to the bed, and flopped down onto it.  He closed his eyes right away, and was soon asleep...

            ddiIt was 1825, in Lynton, a quaint little village in Southern England.  It was such a small place, that all its inhabitants truly did know each other, and knew everything about each other.  Any newcomer was noticed immediately, but the thing had taken that chance.  It knew that it was most likely going to be approached as to its reason for its presence, but it did not mind.  It had an important purpose for being there, an evil purpose to match the evil thing it was, and nothing could stop it.  The thing was walking along one of the many dirt roads in Lynton.  The thing entered into the light, coming from a nearby lantern, and if one had been outside of Lynton, one may recognize the thing and call it by its name.  Its name was Angelus, and he was a vampire.  Ever since Darla had turned him, several years ago, he had been a terror to anyone who came upon him.  But nobody in the quaint little village knew him.

dd_It all began a couple of years ago, when he and Darla had each chosen a victim from a pub on the outskirts of Lynton.  He had chosen a young lass whose name he never had known.  She was obviously drunk, and her drunken self was not a pretty sight, but that was not why Angelus had chosen her.  He had chosen her because she was a loud and bold talker, at least while she was drunk, and while she was talking she had said something that interested him, greatly.  She said there was a man who had come to her town recently (for she lived in Lynton, even though she drank outside of it) claiming to be what he called a watcher.  Although this was a time when everyone was superstitious, knowing that there were all sorts of evil things lurking around after dark, none of them knew what they were, or that there was one chosen to fight against them._

dd_It took Angelus nearly all night, but after sweet-talking, more liquor, and a bit of coaxing, he had managed to get the entire story out of her.  The man was a member of the Watchers Council.  His name was Edward.  He had come into the village to tell one family, the Horne's, that their 15-year-old daughter was a very special girl.  She was a slayer, chosen to fight the evil things in the world.  Upon hearing this, the girl, blew up, packed up her things, and left, despite the objections from her parents and Edward.  It was assumed that she would return in the morning, however, morning came and went.  It had now been over a month since her departure, and not only had she not returned, but her parents had not heard anything from their daughter, so she was assumed to have been killed.  A week after she had not returned, the watcher returned to face the Watchers Council._

dd_Upon hearing of her not returning, Angelus grew bored, and quickly fed off the girl, sucking her warm and tasty blood from her, draining her of life.  When he first heard of her tale, he thought that he and Darla could have their first Slayer count, but his venture turned out to be in vain._

dd_Although it had been two years, Angelus had not forgotten, nor had he forgotten the lucky circumstances that had brought him back to Lynton for the second time in his already long life._

dd_It was one day prior to his return to Lynton, and he had been sleeping in an inn, with Darla beside him, the curtains drawn due to the daylight, when he had heard a door slam, awakening him with a jerk.  Darla, always having been the heavy sleeper, did not wake.  This was their first time in the inn, so Angelus was not aware of his noisy neighbours.  They immediately agitated him, and he decided that, when the sunset, the first thing he would do is kill them._

dd_The door beside him opened and was slammed again.  Angelus heard a man's voice yell, "Leslie!  You can't just go back.  I won't let you!"_

dd_The response came from a feminine voice, which calmly stated, "And how are you going to stop me?  Did you think about that?  I'm ten times stronger than you are.  If you want to fight, let's get it over with, but it's not going to amount to anything."_

dd_At that moment the door reopened and a man, whose voice Angelus recognized as the drunken innkeeper boldly, "Mr. Caldwell, Ms. Horne, could you please keep it down, I have other tenants, a few of whom arrived quite late last night, and are probably trying to sleep right now."_

dd_Angelus heard the sounds of mumbled apologies, and the door of their room being quietly closed.  But he wasn't focusing on those things.  He was thinking about the fact that the woman had said she was stronger than the man, and that the innkeeper had called her Horne.  Angelus decided that he had found the runaway slayer.  He had found her and he was determined to have her.  He listened to the rest of the conversation next door.  Although the pair had quieted down immensely, Angelus could still hear them with his super sensitive hearing that came with being a vampire._

dd_The man continued his case, "All I'm saying is you are thinking of going on a suicide mission.  If you go back to Lynton-" at the mention of Lynton, Angelus' suspicions were confirmed, and, still lying comfortably beside his lover, he smiled a huge, evil, smile, "-you will die.  You will be forced to fight things that will kill you."_

dd_There was a pause before the woman's quiet reply.  When she spoke, even though he had sensitive hearing, he had to strain to hear what she said.  "I know.  But I've done a lot of thinking.  I miss my parents; I mean I just ran out, I haven't seen them for two years.  I need to see them.  No matter what the consequences are."_

dd_"And what about your Slayer role?"_

dd_Angelus grin broadened even wider at the mention of that one word.  He wondered if the man knew how loud he was being about such a topic that was usually only discussed quite discreetly between humans._

dd_"I'm ready.  And don't say anything, you can't convince me otherwise.  Over these two years, I have grown so much.  And yes, I do realize I will die, probably very soon.  I've done a lot of thinking over these few days, since...  I've done a lot of thinking.  I'm ready."_

dd_The man exhaled loudly, "When do we go?"_

dd_"You don't have to have to come."_

dd_"If you're going, I'm going."_

dd_"I'll be leaving tomorrow, and arrive there tomorrow night."_

dd_"Before you said immediately, why not now?"_

dd_The woman's voice got deeper as she replied, "I have something to do tonight."_

dd_The minute Darla had roused herself; Angelus had filled her in on everything that she had missed.  Darla was as excited about the opportunity that presented itself as Angelus.  She told him passionately, "Good work, my darling.  If we leave tonight, we can make it before dawn, and be there for her arrival tomorrow night."_

dd_"No", was his stern reply._

dd_"No?"_

dd_"No.  Ever since you have turned me, I haven't done anything to truly prove myself to you.  You have many years of experience on me.  I will do this alone, kill the Slayer, and bring her lifeless body to you.  I had another thought, but now that this has been brought up, I believe I have the perfect birthday present for you."_

dd_"Darling, you remembered!" her voice filled with such love._

dd_"Of course I did, how could I forgot a thing like that?  I will bring you the slayer, dead, as a present."_

dd_Darla grinned a smile that matched her lover's cruel grin, which had remained since he had found out about their noisy neighbours, and stated, "Nothing could be more perfect."  And she meant it._

dd_So here he was, a day later, back in a village he hadn't seen in a couple of years.  He knew that the Slayer would soon arrive, so he had to hurry and set up.  After all, he was Angelus; he wasn't just going to kill her.  Oh no, we would do much, much worse.  He turned left at the end of the dirt road, and was immediately met by a house that had been described to him earlier.  He was told that this was where the Horne family lived.  He grinned.  Perfect.  He walked up to the front door, and rapped.  After a short while, a man, who was much younger than he appeared to be, opened the door.  He looked and sounded angry while asking what Angelus wanted.  Angelus had been prepared for this.  "Mr. Horne?"  When the man nodded in ascent, Angelus continued his spiel.  "I have some information regarding your daughter."  Hearing Angelus mention his daughter, the man's eyes widened, and grew hopeful.  He eagerly welcomed Angelus into his home, not noticing Angelus' evil grin return._

dd_He was still feeding on the man, his wife having been drained minutes before, sucking every last bit of blood off him, when the door opened.  It was a girl, who could have either been in her early twenties, or late teens.  Angelus immediately stopped what he was doing, eyed the intruder, and upon seeing who it was, grinned.  The girl was frozen, watching the scene in front of her.  She started crying.  Angelus got off of the man, and walked to her, "You're Leslie, aren't you?"  When he mentioned her name, the girl jerked her head up, meeting his evil glare.  Angelus knew then that this was the girl he had come for.  "Good.  Wouldn't want to kill the wrong girl."  While he was speaking he threw the girl onto the ground, and climbed on top of her.  The girl didn't resist in any way, still seemingly frozen.  "Don't worry, you'll see them soon.  And you'll be happy to know, that it was their concern for you that allowed me to enter," was Angelus' cruel taunt, 'them' referring to her parents, whom he had just finished drinking.  The girl realized that although he was a demon, he was most likely telling the truth, and made eye contact with him.  Seeing her eyes was his cue.  Angelus lowered his fangs, making his way towards her neck..._

dd_Before he could finish the task required of him for Darla's present, he felt a searing pain tearing the flesh on his back.  He immediately flew off the girl, and looked at the reason for the pain.  There, standing before him, was a young man, a cross in his right hand, holy water and a stake in his left hand.  He had a deadly glare in his eyes.  "I suggest you leave.  Now!" was what he said, keeping his eyes fixed on Angelus the entire time.  Angelus still felt the pain on his back, but nonetheless, did not feel at all frightened by one man; he still had his extra strength as an advantage.  Then he heard a door opening behind him.  There was a back door apparently, and through it, walked two other men, who were probably stronger than Angelus by themselves.  Both of the men had stakes, crosses, and holy water in their hands too.  Angelus knew that the odds were against him, yet the men were only concerned about the Slayer.  If he left now, he could kill her tomorrow night, and still have his present in time for Darla.  He didn't believe for a minute that the men would know he'd be back, they probably would just assume that he had taken out a random family, and the girl herself was so dazed, she would be an easy kill the likes of which he had never seen.  As much as it killed him he had to leave.  And wait.  Angelus smiled, and politely withdrew, cursing his bad luck under his breath.  But it would be all right.  Tomorrow he would return.  Tomorrow he would kill Leslie Horne._/i


End file.
